


The Secret

by ChaoticLover



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Eventual smut maybe?, Oblivious Otabek, Other, aged up yuri and otabek, fatherly Yuuri and victor, i dont even know, tans yuri, trash probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9511088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticLover/pseuds/ChaoticLover
Summary: Yuri has been hiding for years, nevee trusting anyone enough to share his secrets. When it al unravels, will he run, or face his demons?





	

**Author's Note:**

> For real though, this is probably trash. I dont even know how I got here. It was supposed to be cuddles for day 1 challenge, and we ended up here.
> 
> But... totally not sorry.
> 
> Might keep adding anyways, who knows.

Yuri struggled up the stairs to the apartment he had shared with Otabek for two years. He was too distracted today and unable to land a single one of his jumps, resulting in bruises just about every place he could think of. He took a moment to catch his breath at the top of the stairs before getting his keys out and limping his way to the door. He entered the apartment and called out a ragged hello, not sure if Otabek was home. When no response came, Yuri gratefully dropped his duffel bag and coat where he stood, heading to the bathroom for a shower.  
Yuri groaned inwardly realizing Beka wasn’t home, feeling somewhat disappointed. He knew it was probably best since it was getting harder and harder to hide his secrets from the man. But at least he could shower and go to bed without having to fake it, Yuri thought. Smiling at that, he entered the bathroom ready to feel free for just a little while.  
After turning on the water, Yuri struggled to remove his clothing, unable to lift his arm very high after his shoulder took the brunt of his last fall. Leaning over with a sigh, he left his shirt to dangle from his neck and left arm, bitterly realizing if he couldn’t remove his shirt, he would never be able to remove the binding around his chest. Yuri heaved a weak sigh and stood slowly to reach his phone in his pocket. Yuuri was the only one who knew his secret, only after walking in on him in the showers at the rink, so he’d have to call the pig for help.  
Manhandling his phone from his jeans, he leaned heavily on the sink queuing up Yuuri’s contact info and calling. He let out a groan as it rang, hoping that Katsudan was still at the rink, so it wouldn’t take so long. He leaned into a slow stretch as the phone continued to ring, pushing his butt out to relieve the burn in his legs. Yuri stopped moving when he heard a choking sound behind him.  
Otabek stood in the doorway to the bathroom looking stricken, eyes flicking between Yuri’s ass and the bandaging wrapped around his chest. Yuri couldn’t help the string of unflattering words that erupted form his mouth, not knowing what he said, only that it ended with him yelling for Otabek to get out. Yuri slammed the door in his face, sliding down to the floor, feeling the burn in his face and belly. The embarrassment and shame flowing up and over and sobs wracked Yuri’s still small frame.  
It took a minute for Yuri to recognize Katsukis voice yelling over the phone, worry evident in his tone. Without thinking Yuri threw his hone full force against the wall, hearing it crack apart on impact. The room went silent, aside from Yuri’s horrified sobs. The panic attack had not yet subsided when he heard the front door bang open, followed by Yuuri and Victor’s voices coming closer to the bathroom.  
The rapid knocking on the bathroom door made Yuri spring into action once he realized it was Katsuki. Abandoning his usually angry demeanor, Yuri struggled to get the door open, throwing himself at Katsuki as soon as it was open, ignoring the pain in his body. Yuuri caught him with a small grunt, immediately lifting the smaller body and carrying him down the hall, telling Victor to stay put.  
Yuri was grateful now that he had relinquished some of the bitterness he had first felt toward Yuuri when they first met. It may have taken over 4 years to get to that point, but he knew now that this man was one that he could depend of no matter what the circumstance. The same could be said for Victor, but he still didn’t know that Yuri was born a girl… He had never trusted anyone but his grandfather with that information, but it was all unraveling now.  
Once they were in Yuri’s room, door securely locked, Katsuki sat down on the bed, curling himself around Yuri, quietly offering words of comfort. After a decent period of time, Yuri pulled in a deep breath, letting it shutter out. Taking the opportunity that presented itself, Yuuri finally asked what happened.  
Running his hands down his face, still curled in on himself, making his body as small as possible. Without remorse, Yuri let the words flow out. When all was said and done, Katsuki sighed and tried to clarify Yuri’s rambling words.

“So… Otabek still doesn’t know you’re Trans? Even though you’ve been living together for 2 years. Is that what has been bothering you so much lately? I mean, why you’ve been flubbing your jumps?”

“No… I was never going to tell him. I didn’t want him to look at me the way he did. I just… Im in love with him.” Accent thick, Yuri sniffed delicately and cuddled more into Yuuri, appreciating the older man’s comfort as he was like a father to the younger man.

“Yura, Otabek cares very deeply for you. Do you really think he would feel any different knowing the truth? Or Victor for that matter? He is terrified right now, he has no idea what is wrong, and he is scared for you.”

“How will either of them look at me the same once they know I have a vagina?! I have been lying to them for years. They will hate me.”

Yuuri chuckled lightly and set Yura on the bed before going to the door to call for Victor. Turning to face the little tiger on the bed, he relented a small amount. “Tell Victor. He loves you, and He is worried. Baby steps Yura… we will never stop loving you for who you are. You are family and nothing will change that for us.”

Victor appeared in the door, worrying creating lines in his otherwise handsome face. “Is everything okay? What happened?”  
With a pointed glance and Yuri, Katsuki left the room and shut the two of them in. In exasperation, Yuri asks Victor for help in getting the clothes still hanging awkwardly off of his body. Victor, eyes wide, agreed and approached Yuri slowly.

“I fell a lot today… I can’t ah… I can’t really move my shoulder that much.” Yuri said, keeping his eyes on the mess of a floor under his feet.

“That’s okay. We can go slowly and it’ll be fine. I turned the shower off, so there should be some hot water by now. A hot shower will make it feel better, da?”

“Da. Victor, I need to tell you something but I don’t want you to hate me.” Yuri said quietly. 

“Yura, I will never hate you. Not for anything. How about this. You tell me, and we get you in the shower, and then we get ice cream!” Victor said cheerily, knowing Yuri would never turn down ice cream; it has been their after practice snack for years.

Yuri laughed a little, agreeing whole heartedly. Taking a deep breath, he dove in without over thinking.  
“I was born female… but I identify as male” He said in a rush.

Victor smiled, and ruffled Yuri’s hair. “There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, let’s go get that shower, da?”  
Yuri stared at Victor, completely dumbstruck by his total acceptance, but allowed Victor to scoop him up and carry him to the bathroom. Yuri saw Beka sitting on the couch, still looking stunned, and ducked his head before his friend, the man he was hopelessly in love with could make eye contact. With Victors help, Yuri was able to shower the sweat away from his long practice and get dressed. The older man helping him every step of the way. In a small voice, Yuri posed his question, feeling weak, fearing the rejection that was sure to come.  
“Victor? Could I come stay with you and Yuuri for a few days? I promise I won’t get in the way… I swear it. I will even walk Makkachin every morning if you’ll just let me….”

“Hush. Of course. I will have Yuuri pack you a bag and we can head home now. Sound good?”

“Da… thank you Victor.”

Without speaking to, or even looking at Otabek, Victor escorted Yuri out of the apartment, telling his husband to gather Yurio’s things and meet them at home. Yuri’s shoulders were hunched and he hid his face in his hoodie until they exited the apartment. He didn’t breathe until the door was shut behind him.

Otabek

It had been 3 hours, yet Otabek had still not moved from his spot on the couch, staring blindly at the wall. He still wasn’t sure what he had seen, what it meant… if Yuri was okay. It was nerve wracking, the not knowing. He half wanted to demand Yuri tell him, but he knew the little tiger would run far away if he tried.  
Otabek prided himself on his ability to keep his emotions in check, and right now, he didn’t know if he wanted to laugh, or cry, or punch the wall in frustration. He had been living with Yuri for two years, ever since Yuri’s 17th birthday. Had been close friends for longer… How could he never see it? He should have, with how often he spent looking at Yuri whenever the younger man was distracted.  
His phone chimed with a message, finally breaking his pose, he bounds towards the kitchen, hoping it is Yuri with some sort of explanation. He groans in aggravation seeing Victors name flash across the screen,

*Give him time. Come for coffee in a couple weeks, he needs to calm himself down before he can talk to you. See you soon.*

He sighed and responded.

*Fine. I will give him two weeks, but no more than that.*

Otabek trudged towards the shower, drowning in his thoughts.

 

CHAPTER 2?

Yuri paused in his run to stretch and make sure Makkachin got enough pets to want to finish the last 2 miles. He sighed at the strain, relishing the feel of exhaustion in his muscles. He reached under his sweater and re-adjusted his sports bra. Grateful that Victor talked him out of binding his chest every morning. Since he didn’t develop much thanks to the hormone therapy, he could pull it off under a hoodie with no problem.  
Yuri had been staying in Victors guest room for almost 2 weeks, and was back to feeling more like himself after his episode in his and Otabek’s apartment. He still hadn’t spoken to Beka, ignoring the calls and texts he received daily. In fact, Yuri deleted them without even looking at them, not ready to face the questions he knew his friend would have. Sitting on the cold cement and leaning forward to grasp his outstretched feet, he sighed. He knew he would have to face the music eventually, he just wasn’t ready to lose his best friend, and if he was honest, the man he has hopelessly fallen in love with, regardless of no romantic contact ever being present in their relationship.  
Getting to his feet, Yuri whistled for Makkachin and began his run again, still mulling over the fact the one relationship he had outside of family was about to deteriorate in front of his eyes. At least he had never made an outright fool of himself by confessing his love or doing something equally as stupid, like trying to kiss Otabek. Yuri tried to quiet his mind and enjoy the rest of his run, returning to Victor and Yuuri’s apartment and closing the door behind him and he took deep gulps of air.  
Yuri kicked off his running shoes, and took his sweater off, wiping the sweat off his face as he started walking through the apartment, relishing the cold air hitting his stomach and chest. Pulling the sweater from his face, he paused when he heard Victor laughing in the dining room to his left. Without much thought Yuri fixed his much too long ponytail and popped his head through the doorway to ask if there was any breakfast left when his words died on a squeak. He didn’t need to see the man’s face to know that Otabek was sitting in the chair facing away from him. When he noticed Beka beginning to turn, Yuri whipped around and fast walked down the hallway opposite, half running and sliding in his socks to get to his room as quickly as possible.  
He almost had the door shut when a hand curled around the frame and stopped its progress. Yuri didn’t move, his body still pressed against the door as he looked at the hand. The fingers were to tan and thick to belong to Yuuri or Victor, which meant it had to be Otabek. Yuri felt the uneasy terror settling in his stomach, keenly aware that he no longer had anything covering his torso but the sports bra. He was still frozen when Otabek spoke.

“Yura, please. We need to talk. You can’t keep hiding from me, I mean, aren’t you going to come home?”

Yuri sucked in a breath, hearing the worry and fear in his friend’s voice. Swallowing past the lump lodged in his throat, he peeked through the gap at Otabek’s face, seeing the man’s usually stoic demeanor slipping away quickly. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Yuri turned away and released the door, trying to slide to his closet for a shirt before Beka could open the door. The closest he got was diving under his comforter and pulling it around his shoulders like a shield before turning around to look at Otabek standing in his doorway.

Yuri looked at Otabek and sighed, feeling his heart clench, the horrible feeling in his stomach. He still refused to meet Beka’s eyes while he flopped down to sit on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to say.

“I’ve missed you.” Otabek spoke first, shocking Yuri into looking up at him when he dropped to his knees in front of Yuri on the Bed, close enough that the smaller man could almost feel Otabek’s breath on his face. Yuri still didn’t speak, too scared to open his mouth.

“So… I uh… I tried to make pirozhki like you showed me, but I burned them. The whole apartment smelled for 2 days after…” Otabek stammered, a blush spreading across his face.

Yuri huffed out a humorless laugh, seeing Otabeks face lined with worry and fear, an odd thing to see from the usually standoffish man. “That’s why I don’t let you cook. You screw it up every time.”

Otabek chuckled softly, “So, my Yura is still in there after all.”

Yuri stiffened immediately, drawing the blanket tighter around his body. “No, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant… I’ve missed you.”

Yuri scoffed, “You’ve already said that.”

Chuckling, Beka replied, “Yeah, I guess I did. So… will you please… just, talk to me Yura?”

Sighing Yuri looked around, as if for an escape, but when he couldn’t find one his eyes settled back on Otabek face. Without a word, he loosened the blanket from around his shoulders and slowly let it drop to the mattress, revealing the outline of his breasts and soft stomach. Yuri watched in fascination as the emotions speed across Beka’s face, making deciphering them difficult.

Surprise. Confusion. Embarrassment? He watched as Otabek eyes flitted from his face to his shoulders, to his chest and abdomen, the blush deepening on his friends face before finally settling back on Yuri’s eyes. Barely breathing, they just looked at one another for a few minutes, Yuri terrified, Otabek processing the information slowly. Yuri was the first one to speak.

“I uh.. I was… Hm.” He cleared his throat.

“Is that why… you’re so flexible?” Otabek asked, blushing and slightly breathless.

Yuri blinked. That was not the question he expected in this situation.

“Yes. I mean, kind of. It’s also all the stretching and muscle training that Lilia taught me, so it’s not really special or anything…” Yuri rambled.

“I think it’s special.” Otabek said with conviction. “I mean, you’re special.. Not like that but I mean-“ Yuri pressed his fingers against Otabeks lips, stopping his words.

“You sound stupid. Look…. I have been a male for as long as I can remember. I just… don’t have the right… equipment. I guess. I don’t really… no one knows except my grandpa and my dads - I mean, Victor and Yuuri. It’s not a big deal really.. I just, panicked?” Yuri got it all out quickly, looking back down at his knees, vision wavering and tears filled his eyes.

Otabek sighed deeply, bringing a hand up to rest on Yuri’s cheek. At the contact, the tears spilled over, dripping down between Beka’s fingers resting on his skin. With gentle pressure, Otabek lifted Yuri so he could look the blonde in the eyes.

“Yura… I like you, not your gender. I couldn’t care less what you identify as. I like you. Your personality, the way you skate… That will never change.” Otabek finished with a strong, steady voice, his deep brown eyes never leaving Yuri’s for a second.

Yuri found it very hard to breathe at that moment, unable to move, to make his lungs work sufficiently. Shaking Yuri said something about a shower before fleeing off the foot of the bed and into the bathroom in the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

– Otabek

He stared at the empty space that Yuri vacated without a second glance, unsure of what he said wrong. He tried very hard to remain in complete control of his emotions at all times, but found that when it came to Yura, he had barely any control over anything. Getting to his feet he looked around the room Yuri had been living in for the last 2 weeks. The desk and chair untouched… his duffel bag open and his clothes strewn all over the room. It was much like his room back at the apartment, but cleaner. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing down and leaning heavily on his legs, trying to decide what to do. Does he go home and admit defeat, or stay and try to get Yuri to talk to him?

The past two weeks of no contact had killed him. No instagram pictures, no texts, no calls… absolutely nothing. It had been the most aggravating time of his life, not knowing where Yuri was, or what he was doing.. He had even spent much, much longer at the rink than he should have hoping against hope that Yuri was just training at a different time than normal, but no. Yuri hadn’t put a foot on the ice in 2 weeks, and that was the most concerning thing of all.

Otabek huffed a breath and flopped down onto Yuri’s bed, laying out across the mattress getting comfortable. He would wait. His tiger could hide out on the shower as long as he needed to. He had waited for 4 years for Yuri to be ready…. He could wait another hour.


End file.
